Road
Map to Freedom
In this article we cover a plan
to cleanse the world and get rid
of spam.
Try to imagine, sitting at a cozy
table for two with someone you amorously
care about. Imagine staring into
their eyes, just about to say that
special something, that thing that
will make this moment one that you
will cherish forever.
Abruptly, an annoying short balding
man is introducing himself to you
and handing you some paperwork to
fill out for this great home loan
he can get you, behind him is a
fat sweaty man holding 2 bottles
of Viagra. Beyond him is a countless
stream of people trying to sell
you something, anything they can.
Just when you thought there was
nothing more revolting than a telemarketer,
out jumps Super Spam Man and his
dictionary of misspelled words.
It would seem that we are still
reeling from the initial shock of
this guy’s introduction, because
society, as a whole, has done little
to eliminate these roaches.
I look at my inbox and I am still
in shock at what makes it through.
Even though everyone finds this
guy repugnant, there is nothing
we can do… Or is there?
Well we could try to put in ear
plugs, that would help us ignore
him right? Problem with earplugs
is they kind of affect our ability
to hear everyone else. Wait, I know,
what if we left our ear plugs in,
and every time someone wanted to
talk to us (and we wanted them to)
we could just take our ear plugs
out temporarily. Sure, that would
work great, except it would be really
annoying. Well, you could go find
another table to sit at right, and
even though it would be a bit disruptive
we would at least have some time
alone without him, right? True enough,
but the fact is he would still be
there, somewhere harassing someone
else. What about a muzzle for him?
Now you are thinking along the right
lines. But what would be best is
if we could call over the local
policeman and have him arrested
for harassment. Not only would you
be able to get back to what you
were doing, but you would feel better
because you did some good for everybody.
Okay so we have established what
we want to do, how do we do it?
For starters, we need to get that
local policeman to see that what
that guy is doing IS illegal and
not some perverse interpretation
of freedom of speech. Secondly,
what we need to do is make sure
that the punishment for this behavior
is severe. It doesn’t do us
any good if he simply writes the
guy a ticket while the guy continues
to bother us does it? Thirdly, we
need to find a nice high place that
everyone can see, and put this guy
up on display as he goes to jail,
so that other socially challenged
individuals like him realize that
they will end up being punished
for anti social behavior. And lastly
we need to organize a group of people
to patrol the neighborhood looking
for others acting in this fashion,
so that they don’t get to
do it for very long before they
too are silenced. Sounds like a
reasonable, not really complex plan,
when can we start?
Well, “the devil is in the
details” as they say. First
of all convincing people that this
sort of behavior is criminal and
should be punished, seems to be
a lot more difficult that one would
have initially thought. Write your
congressman; let him know what you
think about spam. As for the punishment
being severe, well, getting people
to go to jail for this is going
to be a challenge at first, so perseverance
and aggressive actions are probably
our best bet. I suspect that once
we have a couple highly publicized
anti spam cases where the spammer
spends a decent portion of his life
in a prison somewhere, we will begin
to see the onslaught of spam diminish.
As for organizing a group of individuals
to patrol the internet looking for
spammers, nothing would make me
happier, again, write your congressman,
find what they plan to do about
spam.
Talk to your Internet Service Provider;
find out what they are doing about
spam. Our best offense against these
low life dregs is to get at them
from all sides as soon as we can.
Let them know that our tolerance
for these actions is now depleted
and further transgressions will
result in extreme measures. In short,
let the spammers know that we have
had enough.
As always, remember to take care
and have fun.
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